grOwing Old..

a broken heart a broken soul

unspoken words to b untold

beautiful feelings are deep buried

no one will know cause they don't get it

once an angel flew high above

trying to reach e paradise of love

poor angel hit by a lightning

laughing thunder get on crowding

"hey angel, u don't belong to here,

go away now and take back that shameless tear!"

injured angel with broken wings

dying weeping and crying

ain't flying falling and falling

.....................

ObsessiOn..

(check, check...this happened for real...Baby Bash...yeah...Frankie J...Obsessions)

It's early in the morning
And my heart is feeling lonely
Just thinking 'bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I don't know how to take it
But it's driving me so crazy
I don't know if it's right
I'm tossing turning in my bed
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I still can't sleep
Thinking 'bout your beauty
It makes me weak
I'm feeling hopeless in my home
I don't know what to do
I think I'm in love
Baby...

[chorus]
Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
Then, what am I feeling?
What am I doing wrong?
Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
It's just an illusion
That I have in my heart

Now, I know you're not my Lady
But I'm trying to make this right
Don't know what to do
I'm going out of my mind
So Baby if you let me
Kick it witchu then well maybe
We can ride together
We can do this all night
Now, I don't care if you got a man
Baby I'd wish you'd understand
Cuz I know he can't love you right,
Quite like I can
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I still can't sleep
Thinking 'bout your beauty
It makes me weak
I feeling hopeless at home
I don't know what to do
I think I'm in love

[chorus]
Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
Then, what am I feeling?
What am I doing wrong?
Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
It's just and illusion
That I have in my heart

I love the way you freaky like that
I love the way you freaky like that
I love the way you freaky like that
It's obsession

[Baby Bash]
Hold Up, Let me Dream
Shorty got me feeling serene
you're my candy
You're my cream
Got your boy feeling supreme
Hold up, Wait a minute
Baby you so damn independent
Loving everything you representing
I got a lot of money and I love to spend it
And that's what's up,
And I don't care what people scream
Your my blessing when I'm stressing
My Superfly Beauty Queen
I'm a keep it saucy
Cuz my ma now how I do,
We gon rendez vous,
MI CORAZON BELONGS TO YOU

[chorus]
Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
Then, what am I feeling?
What am I doing wrong?
Amor, No es Amor(if this ain't love)
It's just an illusion
That I have in my heart

Amor, No es Amor(If this ain't love)
Then, what am I feeling?
What am I doing wrong?
Amor, No es Amor(if this ain't love)
It's just an illusion
That I have in my heart

Amor........

damn..im freaking in love w dis song...
it's juz an illusiOn..den i have in my heart (hey sing-a-long baby!) ;P
im tryin on e baby bash rap..get ma tongue rOlled..
and i couldn't speak well...khakha..

amOr nO es amOr..

:(......

oh ya i went groceries w ma lil sis...

syiok siol sampai bankrupt...

feel so mak nenek w e bakOL...

lOtsa cOokies...

yummy...

I'll shOp fOr mOre nxt mth...

yeAy!!!

Start of e day...

...gez im too early dis morn...

...doin nothing, nothing but yawn (bullshit!)...
...a moment of silence... a click...
...an instant, melody fill up e air...
...dancing or rather headbanging to e beat...
...here it goes...
...ballad rock classic...
...from me...
...to you...

Terciptalah Kasihku

Bilaku kesepian

Hatiku tidak karuan

Suara angin yang lalu

Mendayu ke telinga

Ku pejamkan mataku

Mengalir airmata

Sinaran juitaku

Kaulah cahaya

Penawar hatiku Kasih...

dengarkanlah

Terciptalah kasihku

Kau penawar hati

Kaulah yang satu

Terciptalah kasihku

Tiada terpisah

Diantara kita ohh...

next agenda..?

wanna know..?

curiousity kills a cat...

dun get kill aite...

no one knows...

He knows...

hey! its 2:13 pm.. im damn full.. ate bee hoon soto..drank ice milo..din blanja..

dats nice..keke

report status:

ate lunch w din (ma collegue/married) haha..talked abt bonus la..increment la..

computers n work stuffs..asked abt his wife..if she has found new job..envy din n his wife..settledown at e age of 21 n 22.. me? no comment.. still i kid..

eva since i ve worked here..dat is a week b4 ma grad..hmm 14 july to b precised..

whoa..dats almost a yr.. wah..didn't realise dat i ve been endurin all e shits here..

chinese firm la.. tai chi here n der.. nebemind..after e next bonus..cabot arr..

wanna save enuff $$$ for ma course.. dun wanna stuck in front of e pc n become idiot..whopps!! wanna go for ma passion..eh..not sleepin k..wan..i know ya gonna say dat kan.. wanna become a hairstylist..own a salon..name it..

hmm.."Anna Trisha" or "QisQis" kekeke...

been workin so hard..last wk did OTs on both wkends..

ma vision gettin poorer.. headaches n flus attack hav been taggin me quite often..

im dyin eh? eh..later arr..still got lotsa things to be done..

wanna giv ma parents better living..as for ma siblings, better education n life too..

wanna bring ma mama to spas n facials.. bring ayah to play golfs(boring sport)..

bring them to sedate at Bali den send them to perform e rule of e fifth pillar at Mecca..

InsyaAllah..(haizz..tibe2 rase mcm nk bertaubat pulak..)

Ahh..i wanna furnish ma rooms w Barang-Barang(s)..

haha..basicali live like a pimpcess..

i miss schoolin.. i miss shamy, reza, naz, ed, herrizad n e rest..n i miss e cheese prata!!

i miss..kuan ko..dat fag maths teacher.. i miss sleepin in e lecture rooms..

i miss those eyes..weneva i took ma steps to e canteen..ehem2..

ah..ah..wan jealous kan..

oh ya..for ma info.. been listenin to dis classical rock songs..

since morn..get infatuated by it i gez..yantzen got an unique vocal...

\/\/..ku kejamkan mata ku..mengalir air mata..kau la cahaya..

My All...

I am thinking of you

In my sleepless solitude tonight

If it's wrong to love you

Then my heart just won't let me be right'

Cause I've drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have

Just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel

Your body next to mine'

Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me

Imagining I'm looking in your eyes

I can see you clearly

Vividly emblazoned in my mind

And yet you're so far

Like a distant star

I'm wishing on tonight

Give my all for your love

Tonight

when she is young...

Return to darkness 2000++

The emptiness and darkness is returning,
that lonely feeling; the heart is burning.
Once, I pushed those feelings away,
they were gone for awhile, they're back today.
This time could be the end for me,
I could finally be gone-my sad soul set free.
The empty hollowness in my chest gone forever,
could it happen? please? no-never!
I was so happy for a long time there,
the pain disappeared, ran off somewhere.
It didn't go too far, found its way back,
right when my life was finally on track.
Finally I've come to a harsh conclusion,
all my hopes and dreams have been an illusion.
So much heartache, pain and strife,
what I want is to end this life.
That won't happen, I'm not brave enough,
tell me why this life has to be so rough.
Your help, dear God, is what I need,
nobody knows how my heart does bleed.
Everything’s piling up, I'm quickly sinking,
no rope to grab is what I'm thinking


HIDING BEHIND THE MASK..1997-2000
Hiding from the world,
she takes off the mask,
thankful to be alone at last.
when out in the world,
she pretends to be glad,
although deep inside she is very sad.
she puts on a mask so her fear won't show,
wishing time would hurry so she could go.
she looks at everyone and just smiles,
she's been hiding behind the mask quite awhile.
afraid to tell her true feelings because she is scared,
to do something different that no one else has dared.
she wonders why people are so hateful and mean,
nobody knows what she has seen.going back home now,
she takes off the mask,
thankful once to again to be alone at last.


when she is really really young...

Waiting - 1996
I sit here waiting.
Waiting for a friend.
Waiting to be accepted into your world.
Waiting for a love to sweep me off my feet.
Waiting for the end of my life.
I sit here waiting for no one particular.
Waiting for God to take me away,waiting for the day I will die.
Waiting for the depression to end,for the hopelessness to go away.
Waiting for the perfect moment,the one in which I will take my own life.
Waiting for someone to murder me,fantasizing over thoughts of my own death.
I sit here waiting to be understood,in a world where I am not welcomed.
I sit here lonely, waiting to die,wanting to cry.
Wanting to be beautiful and skinny.
Wanting a friend.
Wanting, waiting to die.