im so in love w dis uncle...

dun ask me y i love him...

actuali i start to love him la...

we started off as frenz...

den..bezfrenz..den...dunno2...

den..ops...ehem2 la...

2008 eh gal... aku maseh skola arrr... nk kawin sama2 tak gal...? ahakz...

leh kai makcik kau nye catering... tkya tunang2 eh gal buang duit arrr...

hmmm... agak nye kan...kalo both of us were to sanding 2getha kan..

mesti kite dua ketawe eh gal.. mcm kekek kan..pri same skola den till now me n u

still togetha n mak oi!! sanding togetha...tak dpt aku bayangkan.... mesti kecoh...

maklom la...kite lom jadi artis da hot!! (kahhhpuiiikkk!!) kekeke...hope fully eh gal..

we end up w dis good ppl... tu pon kalo si uncle ni sud nk jaga aku yg leceh ni...

jgn lupa uncle..hantaran $10k..gst not yet included...keke.. duit mak andam + majlis ++++

kata nk kawin anak org kan...keje rajin2 k... k gal...mari kite goyang kaki.... kukuku...

kena bedal jugak aku dgn mak aku kalo dia tau aku aniaya anak org... hehehehe...

happy...

i am so elated...
keke...
on 18 march goin for e nyp reunion dinner at quality hotel...
den2 on 14 apr - 16 apr goin to genting for family day sponsored by
ma company.. i can onli bring ma mom for free!!! n fiza too!! wee!!
sorry uncle tkle bawak uncle.. gals only allow....alalalala...sorry eh tayang...


happynye...mcm da keje penat2..den rewarded g hols..w mom n fiza lagi..
too bad dad tkle n sis n bro...nanti akak ade rezeki lebeh akak bring e whole pham
go for cruise k ppl... sayang semuanya...ceh ceh..tgh happy mood ni...
nak lompat2 ni... ok la...akak nk kena knock off.. nk meet ma larling pija n later ma
larling uncle...


oh sungguh oh-the-rindu terhadap uncle...
catch up soon ya!!!
ketchup?? ;p

i just wanna...

...i wanna lay flat on ma bed...

...covering maself w ma comforter...

...switching on "bintang disyurga" to e repeat mode...

...embrace e atmosphere of ma room...

...closing ma eyes n feel e music...

...all alone crying ma heart out...

...just for one last time...

...im so stucked up...

...i hate dis emotions dat seeping tru e veins...

...sweetheart...

..help me...

...get me outta dis fragility...

...dis emos cementing me...

...help me up before it hardens...

...b4 it's too late...

...oh bintang disyurga...

*ok i was jus kidding*

ME me n him...

para pembaca..
sekiranya anda terasa mual2 atau muak membaca tulisan aku ini..
SILA belah! keke...

aku nk ckp ni...

aku miss uncle la...


ok b4 dat...
aku ade prob sikit...
nowadays kan...i got drifted away with emotions easily
for example..ma fren ayu had her break up afta 3 yrs..
she cried man..she cried.. ayu e bubbly n happy-go-lucky
gal cried infront of me!! i felt like crying too!! as if i cld feel
e hurt n trauma she's having.. sien... so sien... it dragged ma
mood down too!!

sorry dear...if on e wednesday i wasn't maself...
sedih sangat la.. skrg2 ni baby cepat sedihla...
terganggu emosi ku... n im sorry to show it on u..
kesian uncle ku sayang...


haizz... ayu... relax k...
fiza...pon relax k...
sally.. lagi nk kena relax tau..
nanti da tak cute lagi..
kan jerawat membuak2 kan...


uwaaahhh!! wers ma uncle?
kata nak call akak?
sampai tertido tau...
hrrrmmmmpppphhh...
nak majok arrr!!!
tak peduli jugak nak majok jugak...!!!


da la nak mandi ni..
lom mandi lagi seh...
kalo uncle tak call..
akak tido la..
*bluek*
majok la pulak...
uncle call akak la........
cekik baru tau!!

day with fiza 21/02/06

took MC at jurong poly... due to some infection on ma feet.. poor me kan...keke...ma larling fiza accompanied me there...





n told her to do the review thingy along.. so got herself x-rayed.. haizzzz... dun worry gal.. its onli e tailbone problem.. u ll recover k gal.. fret not.. no matter wat, me n e rest will b here n der for ya.. jgn la menangis sayang..ewah.. nti aku nyanyi kang... afta e long hrs at polyclinic, we dragged our feet to visit sham at SGH.. u noe wat! 4 visits to hospital la nyarrr dis week... i tink God is showing me sumtin.. a doctor-to-be? ahakz... kekeke... u ll nvr noe k...





afta gugugagaing over sham's bandages n wounds n himself..we headed home..
but u noe la fiza..hungry always.. we kept our tummy full at long john silver..
n saw fili n e rest of his section mates der.. nk taknak, i ve to offer him our table..
kesian la pulak kan... hope uncle, u dun mind k dear...
he is ma sch mate back in ma poly days...





den wen abt to ric 181's berth kan.. i bumped into ma another poly fren..hairul kwang2..!!
long time nvr see him man, maseh sekeping mcm dulu..!! keke..
tinggal dekat pon tak pernah terserempak..last seen him was on e last day of our
attachment ker gitu.. ape lagi.. he asked for ma number as aku pon da tukar number kan...
n he is still keeping in touch w liyana, another bubbly peeps..miss her man!!
bila eh nk kuar ramai2...? no time arrr... hope to see dem all soon n soonest!!!
i miss ma schooling days arrr...





talk abt sch...
i feel weird arr w dis classmate of mine, rizal..
ape kena dgn ni budak?? da tknk talk to akak ker???
mcm da tak seclose b4...afta cny terus mcm da hambar...
hmmmmm...tkpela..tau la akak nk godeh hotak dia...kekeke....





ric home ard 9pm...hehe...
talked to uncle on fone for just an itsy bitsy time jer..
coz akaknye amma ada bual2 sama akak la nyaarrr...
we talked2 n giggled2 on ma bed behind e closed door..
takot dad eavesdroppin la katakan...gals stuffs...
mak aku ni dia g pukol canang la pulak...
ade ker patot dia tunjok dgcam aku to ma uncle, nenek n aunties!!
dia tunjok the recording of uncle at pizza hut..
paisey2 arrr...tu la pasal aku tak suka tell mom ape2 dulu..
dia yg sibok2...lawan towkay seh...
sape yg malu...? akak ni yg cute jugak yg malu tau...
cik zali ckp not bad... ade iras2 ma ex...but uncle lagi betta..
hehe... bkn nk compare2 la..tapi da nk sama muka..
ape aku leh do kan....mama..mama...gigit baru tau..!!!




errmmm... i ve change ma url...wee!!!
alamak..akit peyot la pulak...

ku menanti dan tetap terus menanti
hingga kini dengarkanlah luahan hati
ku mencari akan kesilapan ini
selama ini yg tidak ku temui




ku menanti bila kah kau kan kembali
hingga kini tiada berita darimu
ku harungi perjalanan hidup ini
ku kan nanti bertemu di syurgawi

The Men

**********
*The Men*
**********


ppl come ppl go..
some wld stay..
some wld ratha fuck off..


few ppl dat i ve met tru out ma 22 yrs do left a big impact on me..
mostly are The Men...


The Men i knew..
few engraved good n bad memories..
in which, bad memories were mostly recorded n kept undated
in ma diary of love & life..


On top of that..
i would like to thanks to The Men dat made me cried, laughed,
suffered, who treated me like a piece of shit, who treated me like
princess.
In wateva forms or shape The Men had carved me.
A thousand thanks to The Men..



**********
*The Man*
**********


he is some1 i ve never dreamt to b with..
he is some1 dat is not in ma criteria..
he is some1 i only wish for a friend..
he aint wealthy aint coOl like The Men..
he aint that well versed..
he may not be number one..
some1 eva told me dat The Man aint listed..
some1 eva told me dat The Man kinda loser..


BUT..


He is The Man
a down to earth average joe next door
a man dat is willing to sacrifice for to have a piece of love
a man dat takes care of his loves more den his own life
a man dat regret alot for his single lil mistake
a man dat eager to change for e better
a man dat struggle so much to bring dat happiness to ppl ard him
a man dat lit up a light of happiness
a man dat dun care abt wat others said
a man who dun bargain for love



simply


The Man...


i dun consider him a bf...
a lover? i reckon..

i dreamt of him...
same place..
i wore e same black outfit..
same ambience...
same feeling...
how cld i dream of him..?
when i dun want him...
when i felt e hurt...?
i dreamt of him...
its like a dejavu...
a late dejavu...
a lovely dream...
a fairy tale...
wic will not come true...


y must it b him again...?


i wanna quit him...


yes..i betta quit him...
for good...
haiz..


**********************************************************
**********************************************************

i dun wanna hav a date on valentine's day..
i wanna sit at hm..
i ll force maself not to go out w any male...
a female will do..


can i?



hmmmppphhh...



but i want white roses...



a stalk will do...



just a stalk...

atas pemintaan yg tidak ramai...
akak update la akaknye blog...


hows ma day eh? lazy arrr...
very lazy to think wat im suppose to do now..


tired tau...got class last nite...
but no regrets tho..


nk update ape lagi seh gal...
hmmmm...
how is ma personal life goin on??
i dunno wat to comment here...
for all i noe is dat...
im least interested in guys...!!!
im lesbian? HELL NO!!
relek jer for now...


i just wanna shop n meet ma gals..
eat n chat n craps n gossips...ahaks..
meet new ppl? depends... any dumbass will do...
but to get involve in a r'ship...
oh no! no no no no!!! pls understand...
no means no...
n no does not mean i dun like ya or i hate ya...
just dun wanna get tied up.. ok...



how i wish ders 48 hr per day...
830 morn to 530 eve (work)
630 eve to 1030 nite (sch)
1130 nite 1930 nite (sleep)
2030 nite 2400 nite (watch tv)
2500 nite 3300 nite (part time work ker)
3400 nite to 42oo morn (sleep)
4300 morn to 4800 morn (housework ker)

wah seh tido peh byk...
can work more too!
can save more $$$
can shop more too!!!
fomfan fomfan...
biarrriinnn...
shaites...all e duniawi sak...
di mana ukhrawiku....??

busy w work n sch n shops n frens n guyfrens...
time w family (-tive)
time w God (-tive)


lama nye aku tk dudok atas sejadah....
ma telekong is so white n fresh...
coz i rarely touch dem....
oh God...
pls enlighten me...pls....pls..
aku tknk masok neraka....!!!

aku maseh takot..
dammit..

take care uncle..

oi gal..
kau memang arr!! pagi2 msg aku benda2..
kul 430 tau akak tersadar teros tkle sleep..
ni eyebag sape nk jawab..?
da tk kiut lagi..nti sape nk aku? kau jugak..
kau ni..ape2 pon bawakla berunding dan berbincang..
ingat ni zaman geng tk geng eh..? aku cepuk baru tau..
pagi2 da buat aku mata bengkak aje..







biarla ape org nk ckp..
nti da penat..dorg diam la..
org tgh marah.. kau ikhlas mane pon org tak pandang..
agak da tersampok syaitan tak? kekeke... Tuhan saje yg tahu..







bab kutok2 pat blog ni..
biasala..
dorg tknk or mebbe tk berani nk ckp directly..
mebbe dats y dey post it on blog..
aku pon kadang2 buat gitu..







kalo nari kau tak keje malam kan bagus...
leh kite amek angin by e bay...








btw kan gal...
ex aku left a voice mail...
told me to come to e bay on e 7th dis month...
to patch things up i reckon...
akak takot arrr...
aku tak sanggup arr kena tipu hidop2...
cam org bongok tau...







gal...
aku maseh takot arrr to start anew...
i wish to move on...
but..................







uncle akak sorry....

fiza..

gal.. i read ya post dated e 2nd of Feb.. touching nye..mcm dpt award gitu..

i oso love u many2 tau gal.. no matter wat kan gal.. u ll b owez ma lil fiza dat i knew 12 yrs back.. dos long pony tail of urs still fresh in ma mind.. ingat tak kau suka tocang rambot kau.. da la lebat ade fringe bato' lak tu..kekeke.. remb dat u cut ya fringe? kelakar kan.. ok rambot aku pon sarap.. mcm cauliflower..

remb how we bullied imran by drawing his face with ya permanent marker..mampos kan...!

den time kau makan keropok kau tersembur pat rambot vogue aku..mcm singa kan...!

abeh yg kite buat project kite immitate nurhafizah yusof nye exagerates..

den kan den kan..yg kite men tulis2 surat.. kau stapled surat peh byk...cam siak kan!

den time g remedial singgah do&me skali ade ni pervert pegang2 tangan kau.. den ape lagi eh gal...g umah mrs chin kan.. abeh kau ckp jari tgh kau tu nk tumboh lagi satu jari... ceh...aku kena bodoh2 hidup2 sak! keke den aku panggil kau ustazah, kau nangis..(gembeng dari dulu!) asek gadoh aje..

kalo marah aku suka tunjok2 jari bapok kau..keke dat was back in pri sch...

den sec sch.. same sch sia! but not same class.. we joined millitary band.. still playful.. time nk weewee paling tak guna ajak kau...!! nti kau ngendap..kesian rohaya..slalu jadi mangsa.. ngendap takpe..kau campak beros jamban pat dia... kwangjak kan!! den kalo pat kantin ketawa kitorgla yg paling terkuat.. abeh tu kau join silat kan..mak oi rabak sak idah kena stupid2kan..

DUCK WALK!!!

tu jam kau maseh big buli sampai satu hari kau kena sound dgn rena..

TERGORESSSS!!!

indon sak kekata tu.. sampai merubah kan hidop kau..teros jadi seorg yg lemah lagi lembek.. sampai la skrg...kekekeke..

den den..

time alek band prac, korg minom air slurpy den semboh2 at each other.. pengotor sak!!

slalu antar each other alek.. mane nye gentleman aje..

den alek band jln kaki dari bukit view pegi busstop uma aku ujan2... semua basah n sexy... gerek kan men ujan.. stokin n kasot kuyup n bau busok..

n dat time g uma kau..abes rohaya kena b*gel dgn kite.. jahat sak!!! slalu rohaya jadi mangsa.. men selak2 skirt la..men raba2...tu namirah mangsa rabak.. den sec sch..

we happen to hav a crushed on e same hensem boy..kekeke... mentel..

den kau kena fitnah dgn sape tah..ckp kau pelacur..si suar tu..sape eh nama budak citot tu.. aku mane nye terror jer g jumpa tu bdk..kalo nk cerita byk seh.. tkkn abes.. den..

afta O lvl..we worked at tricon pat IMM..

ingat tak kadir sepak pantat kau..

abeh tu aku marah n sepak si kadir..

last2 aku pulak kena sepak dgn si monyet hensem tu..

yg kau pon diam aje..

bkn nk tell aku early2..aku kan tkle dgr benda2 gini..

ckp2 gini teringat aku pd riduan sofian...mane si kecik tu eh gal..?

lama tak kaco2 dia kecik.. tu pon bespren kan gal..kekeke.. mcm2 seh..

den masok poly..da jauh sikit..

bz w schooling.. den start to hav matair..

haizz..ni la yg paling sedih.. we misunderstood each other..

kau tknk fren aku.. kite gado sal lelaki.. kesat kan our mges dulu.. keke..

kentalkan gado sal lelaki.. dua tahun kite bercerai..

smp aku break w him pon aku maseh tk kip in touch w u..

kau tau tak.. most of ma dreams were all abt u..

mane2 aku pegi dlm mimpi aku..slalu ade kau..

aku hanya dpt bilang rena dat i miss u so much..

but dat time maseh ego.. till e last 2 rayas..

i went to ur hse.. naseb baik kau undang aku...

paiseh tau..malu2 meow seh..

but im glad everitin is back to normal..

n till dat onwards.. no matter how bad we quarel,

im not gonna leave u or severe our fship..

kalo boleh sampai mati aku nk kau to b w me..

if can wen e time im getting married, i want u n e rest of e gals..

to be by ma side to console me..

to give me e strength..

may our friendship last foreva...

i love u, hafizah kairudin (anak uncle k)

n biar la ape org nk ckp ke nak hamun kau ker..

biar la ape org pandang kau.. bitch ker slut ker..

kite berhak nk rasa ape yg kite nk..

we make our own decisions..

dey dunno u..

n we cant make ppl stop talking..

dey will onli remb us for e bad things we did..

but kan..

u ll still b e sweet lil long hair gal i ll owez remb n treasure..

tapi kan...jgn la lambat sgt gal... kesiankan la aku yg cute ni... ahakz! *wink*

may u find ya mista rite..

tak kesah la sape..

asal kan dia dapat terima kau seadanya kau..

dapat terima kau sebagai mana aku dapat terima kau

sebagai teman karib ku...amin..

we humans are perfect due to our flaws..

gal..nari nk gi ero?? msg aku!!

CNY

SAT 28/01/06
went outta hse ard 530pm..
thanx to ma lovely lady fiza for her on e ball attendance..
leh meninggal aku tunggu ni minah.. da la many bangla pat MRT tu..
den were supposed to catch a movie..but thx tto lady fiza again...
plan was cancelled... den we met isuwandy & elona & elona's lil sis n
ma fren, rizal..we ate our lunch cum dinner at lido..
den headed hm.. dah tu jer....

SUN 29/01/06
WENT to nanny's hse... den had dinner at west coast w dearest family...
went home... chatted on fone till 12am..

MON 30/01/06
quite special... went for morn jog w lil sis RD...
we jogged at his area...kau! i jogged for only 12 mins n e pace was like kura2
hilang anak nyaarr...had breakfast afta e jogged...at McD....
den played basketball till 11 plus.. berfeluh akak..
tkpe nk lose wt nye pasal..gua sanggup... kuakua...
den met RD ard 215pm for an outing to Jurong Bird Park!!!!
wif his lil bro.. its like a family outing..
fruitful CNY i had...den sent his lil bro hm...
sedih u...dat he had to go hm...
and den... me n ma kaki g men pool at JE...
g west coast lagi..den balek...cepat jugak ku alek..
9 plus....thx eh uncle bwk akak jln2...
kekeke...