MA BLOODY POST

IM SO BLOODY SLEEPY IN DIS BLOODY OFFICE..
YEST I SLEPT AT BLOODY 3AM!!
Y? COZ I HAFTA ENTERTAIN BLOODY SMSES FROM MA BLOODY EX..
BLOODY ME WITH MA BLOODY WORDS...
IM BLOODY PISSED OFF W AZAR N NOW BLOODY PEEVED W WAN..
WAN, BLOODY BLABBERING W HIS FREAKING BLOODY RUINED LIFE,
WIC HE SAID I BLOODY RUINED HIS.. BLOODY HELL!
N BLOODY ANGRY W MASELF TOO!
FOR LETTIN HIM BLOODY AXAGERATED ABT THE BLOODY PAST!
BLOODY HELL!
IM SO BLOODY TIRED W BLOODY NONSENSICAL STUFFS..
HOW AM I GONNA BLOODY MOVE ON WHEN BLOODY SHIT HAPPENS N PULL MA
BLOODY MORALE DOWN?? BLOODY HELL!!

weneva i feel dat e world or e surrounding are bein unfair to me..
i hav no choice but to let out all or almost e shit HERE!..
i gez human are good companion BUT not all e time..
im gonna scrutinized ma heart out HERE!..

i tink i shd stop all e suitors thingy?
shd i?
BUT wen did e hell i start it?
did i?
izzit ma fault ppl get hurt?
izzit mine?

sheezz..juz feel uneasy..
n i cant define ma uneasiness..
i dun understand y la..

semenjak2 ni kan...
akak asek bingit dgn azar...
every single things or qns...
akak asek nk melenting aje...

sudahla...takde mood arr nak blog....

met mat jenjet on fri..
ate at banquet @ raffles..
walked to esplanade to watch ma cuzzie's show..
few of ma best buddies were der too..
afta e show me n mat jenjet sat at merlion..
had a conversation..
about wat matters beneathe..
heart n soul...
nice ambience full of silence..
nah..not dat silent..
ade bunyik2 boat..memekak..
tak romantis langsong..
ahakz..
mat jenjet,
bukan akak tak sudi..
bukan akak membenci..
tapi akak tidak ingin melakukan sesuatu..
tanpa kerelaan hati..
jika hadirku ini menjadi duri yg terlindung..
ataupon penawar dan racun...
akan ku utuskan lambaianku utkmu...


"disepi ini aku mencari sinar mata mu...
lama ku tunggu tidak ku temu.....
ku hayunkan buaian cinta di pohon duka...
berguguran keindahan kernamu...

akan ku simpul kan tangis ini
memaut harapan yg tenggelam...
airmata berguguran menyapa penantian...
yg kecundangan...."

~dinamik~

Suara Cinta - Mega

Dahulu cinta kita berbunga
Sayang sepenuh nyawa
Di dalam hatiku merindu
Sayang kau tak tahu

Dahulu kita berjanji setia
Tidak akan berpisah
Katamu hanyalah diriku
Buat selamanya

Sehingga kini ku masih sayang
Tapi mengapa kau hilang di mataS
ehingga kini ku masih cinta
Apa pun terjadi tetap setia

Oh kekasih
Dengarkanlah suara cinta dari hatiku
Oh kekasih berpeganglah pada janji
Ya Tuhanku berikanlah petunjukmu pada kekasihku
Moga takdir melindungi cinta kita sepanjang masa

Alangkah bahagia kurasa
Setelah kau insafi
Janganlah engkau mungkiri
Menghiris hatiku

met fiza, hafri and ardy at jp for a quick discussion abt e pitt on 3rd dec..

den fiza rushed to work..

ardy sent fiza n came back for e discussion..

hmmm...den me n hafri could not hold back our hunger..

we wrapped up n headed to banquet..

i wanted to catched a movie, just like heaven..

den si hafri wanna tagged along but he already watched

Just like heaven..

so i ve got no choice but to watched exorcism of Emily Rose..

sheeezzz..was reluctant to watch it at 1st...

but no harm tryin rite..

in e theatre..im so noisy..could not sit still..

mane tak..aku actuali segan nk tgk citer2 antu...

but ok la..not dat scary.. takde momok sgt..

afta dat i went home la..

tido bace2 bismilah..

mane tau katil aku terangkat ker..

ahakz...

hope to watch just like heaven on fri...

*hint hint*

sally & aseri kedi - 22/11/05

had lil dinner w aseri kedi at ma neighbourhood..

its was cold nite..i shivered & trembled..

hmmm.. did we talk things out..

yea..more from his side..

mine aint much..

prolly i dunno how to bring ma self to

talk abt dat topic dat nite..

frankly speaking..

im happy having fren like aseri kedi..

yea..i did cry wen he says he's abt to go Dubai..

tho its kinda lil prank from him n kas..

but somehow im sad of his "departure-to-be"

we had great times weneva we met..

for now..

i dun hav any intention or planning of ma

next-step-to-love..

i noe im a lil bit happy w wat i am now..

tho lonely la..

but im not gonna stick to one wen im not ready to

start a new chapter...

its unfair to e other party..

physically togetha..but not mind n soul..

n im not gonna repeat e same mistake

AGAIN!!

im trully exhausted-super-fatigue

w all e lovey-dovey-tales..

i ll get back on track once im ready...

but to whom...im gonna let ma heart taken over?

i dunno...

let Him above decides..

it will come naturally..

alter ego :

REMEMBER Saliefah..

DO NOT FORCE yaself to love some1..

let it come uninvitedly aite gal..

REMEMBER E PAST?

REMEMBER HAYRIE DA PLAYA?

REMEMBER NORISHAM DA FUCKEN ARSEHOLE?

REMEMBER SHA DA PATHETIC?

REMEMBER FARIS DA PSYCHO?

REMEMBER IZAD DA TEMPERAMENTAL BREAKDOWNER?

REMEMBER RIZWAN DA WADEVA?

REMEMBER HIM?

ok good gal...

saliefah :

im cool alter ego..

im coping w life n ppl ard..

thx for reminding..

hmmm...nothing interesting..izzit?
yest went to ma course...a step better...
a pinch of satisfaction hit me as im seeing ma self improving..
hopefully i can grad from dis course w rocket fly grade..
hmmm...
last nite i went back hm w hisham..
ma former senior back in poly..
he was having his course at rochor..
n e route we re taking kinda "same"
it's nice to see him afta a long time...
den we talked abt e course, e scope of it..
den moved to topic dat gonna happen on 18 march..
he wanna hold a cultural nite for e nypians for our 5th anny..
ambitious dude..
so long nvr see dat smile..*ahakz*
ok enuff abt dat...
so far ma life is goOd..
im coping w things well..
n time is ma bestfriend n remedy..
take care ppl...

Afta work i rushed to raffles..
had ma 1st eva hairstyling lesson..
ric der ard 635pm..
venue : Pivot Point @ OUB CENTRE
made lotsa frenz..ranging from 20 yrs to 40 plus aunts..
coOL..ma teacher name is sharifah (sha)
first lesson i had yest was shampooing n conditioning..
haha...its not as simple as i eva tot sia...
lotsa techniques were taught..
sheezzz...im not flexible enuff...
i ll practice more on it..
hmmm...who's head or rather hair, im gonna wash??
hehehe...
enuff abt ma agenda...

let me pen down ma emos here or rather thoughts..
i noe dat i ve "few" frens (more den ma fingers)
n mostly are guys..
wats happening to e gals..?
dey r bz w deir life...
i had fiza n aya...
but i noe dey got to handle deir own life n career too...
dey hav deir own endless probs...
let alone to tend to minE..
i wld rather keep it to maself...
den to trouble others..
Esp ma gals..
but how long??
hmmmm...

nowadays..
i get agitated easily..

azar..
frustrated over minor things n qns popped up by him..
poor dude..always gotta hear ma sadistic remarks..
azar if u read dis..im sorry...hope u lessen ya curiousity abt me..
i cant simply tell ya wateva shit im doin..
i noe u care...but pls hav ur limits..i felt uneasy to tell every single things
or topics i had w ma frenz..wers ma privacy..
sorry dude..

asri..
i noe..dat as time past by..
i had teeny weeny feelings for ya..kinda weird feeling seeping tru ma nerves...
i was amazed w dat..wonder how u did dat...
but..
im still not assure of things dat been running tru ya brain dude..
im not sure of ya sincerity or seriousness of having things related to me..
if along e way i cock things up...
im sorry...i wish to love u..let time find e ans...
and if i ve eva hurt ya in any ways..im sorry...

herman..
new dude i gotta noe from solekhin (sec mate)..
nice dude..farnie n petite..keen in knowing saliefah..
i dunno wat ya up to..
frenz onli? im not sure..
hope u r sincere w e f'ship dat u offered..

hisham..
haiz...
im truly sorry for ma mawkish act..
gez i want ya attention..
since e last time..yrs ago...
ya smile captured some part of ma system..
cant meet ya often..else im gonna slip n fall each time u smile at me..
pls dun smile..pls!!
rmber dat nite at town..
wer i bumped onto u n ya ??gf??...
God noes how jealous i was dat moment..
i feel like giving ma self 10 tight slaps to wake up..
once..i ve made a mistake for choosing wan over u..
y? coz wan was faster...n i badly needed sum1 dat critical time..
and..
wan came at e rite time...
sham..saliefah truly sorry if i once broke ya heart..

wan..
ma ex..ma love..ma fren..ma pillow..
wan...ma huggable bolster..sum1 i can sulk at..
wan...ma nitemare..ma sorrows..ma worries..
wan...stop taking all dos illegal stuffs..
aint good for u..aint good for any1 either..
wan..
i used to love u..
i used to call ya sayang..
i used to cut ya hair at e beach w ma office scissors..
i used to rub gently on ya dark eyes n put u to slp..
i used to carress n stroke ya hair n u end up slpg..
i used to sit at e bay w u..counting e stars..
i used to hav lunch at ya hse on every sats..
i used to eat ya home-made yummy-cookies..
i used to eat 6 takashimaya's eclairs ($2 each) at one go wic u bought femme..
i used to sing for u, u light up ma life each nite on e fone..
WHY must it be "I USED TO"?? wen i noe...ders dis.."U USED TO"..
im selfish i gez..i gez i shdnt state ya flaws here wer i had mine uncomparable..
but wan..wateva izzit..i cherished e moments we had..
im sorry..

kasila..
ma new/old fren..
a fren dat i let out more of ma matters to him..
kas n fiza..ppl for now i can rely on..
thx dude for e listenin ear..
i talked things out to kas more den i talked to asri..
thx for being ma fren dude..
and kas..if u r reading dis..
pls dun tell ani1 of ma new url..
kas..dis is real saliefah...

SUN went to few relatives hses since ma frenz r too bz w life..

-cik sumi
-cik mila
-mak ngah
-cik mila yah
-nek jumak's mom
-cik som

ouh dat made up 6 hses..coOL..
AT cik mila yah's hse..got dis distance relative, a sis, ask for ma no..
coz dey are actuali livving near us..n at e same time for her bro too! yikez!
den i exchange ma no w ma darl cuzzie bro, ewan...long time no see day yound man..
got gf oredi n still flirty like usual..hehe..his dad n ma dad r bros...
WELL..ric hm..n dat boy (e one at cik mila yah's hse) sms..he is ewan's sepupu sepipit..
hmmm...told him im attached..hahahahaha..ngan sape aje aku attached...mampos la..

had a mini open hse on sat..
lotsa ppl came..
unexpected...
some i knew..some i did not..
k i shall list down who came..
to dos i did not invite..im sorry...tak sempat arrr..
last min thang...

-fiza (miss stoink n pretty)
-aya (miss relax)
-sharin (awie wannabe)
-kin (mr calm)
-herman (pinkish)
-hafri (wowow)
-syazwan n gf (thx for coming dude n dudette)
-azhar (menggelebeh! hey u look gd w dat songkok)
-asri (kedi! kalo ade sawah diladang)
-kasilah (abg tersayang! babik kering)
-wan
-asri's bro
-din n family(bila rindu~)
-mun poh (eat boy! eat summore!hehe)
-reza n whole yishun estates guy(12 dudes) (ISHK2!)
-hisham n fren (farnie sham..look gd w e attire but wore slippers!)
hmmm...dats it for ma frenz...

not including some family members on frenz of ma parents n lil bro...

nxt yr must plan properly...
tiring but i feel great..
hope i ve been a good host dat sat..
had fun w e karaoke session..
kinda family KTV..ahakz..
sorry for any shortcomings...
and saliefah really appreciate it..
thx fiza n aya...e only gd frenz dat manage to come n accompanied me..
love u gals lots lots..

and its sharmila's 22th bday...
Gosh! i did not/hav not bought anitin for her yet seh..
bad me..
ngah kering arrr..
rena's bday coming soon..so is azar's...

Prawny

hmm...dis pic serves no purpose abt e event yest i had..dis fella above aka prawn catcha...
Asree, kasila n me went to farm mart last nite to catch prawns...GEEZZ!! dat was ma 1st time..
kinda cooling environment..sejuk u..kau!! asal ni??? pening nye!!! vision aku blurr ni..pusing2 mcm gasing..mcm nk balek arrr......ade je gua pengsan pat sini..kdnn bjjjjjjjjujjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjd

fuck.....fuck........
heart cryin inside...
reality seems blurring ma vision..
i cant hide...
i need poison to kill dis passion...

:(.............................................................

I FEEL SOOOO SAD...
SAD AND BAD...
BAD AND SAD...
IT'S NORMAL TO BE SAD..
IT'S SAD TO BE NORMAL..
YESTERDAY WAS WEIRD BUT FUNNY..
TODAY STILL WEIRD BUT SAD..
STEWPID..STEWPID..STEWPID..
STEWPID C*P*D..
CUPID STEWPID..
HATE YA C*P*D STEWPID..

hmmm...

..im feeling weird..

Im missing sum1 man..stewpid didewpid me!!! Hmmmm….sheezzzz…
Hmmmm…shd I ask ma mom’s opinion,,,but im kinda shy tho..
I wanna stop dis missing feelings…BUT HOW?? I dun wanna repeat e same mistake AGAIN n AGAIN!! Im afraid to make e next step..simply AFRAID.. God, show me e way.. Or if it’s not meant femme..stop dis weird didewpid groOvy feeling.. semua dia nye pasal la..sape suroh dia ckp abt family material..soft spot sia…hmmm..tkpelah..i shall sit back. Wait n see..kalo ade, ade la..takde, den takde..all e best to you..but shit!!! HOW TO COPE WITH THIS THING!!! Nvm…Take Care ma fren..Bon Voyage…

kak ct n me

06/11/05: rayaIng!!! excited!! y? coz i got to meet ma cuzzins n relatives..wic on certain we gotta see each other noses...kuku!! went to ma uncles houses..whoa..at one time they will be like one batallion in one houses..imagine e laughter e crying of lil babies..fyi, ders 4 newborn babies..e latest batch...weee!!!!!!!!!cute sia!!! remind me of ma legenderous time as a baby..huhu!! hmmm..e last hse we went was wak sam's hse..gotta meet his elder daughter n e rest of his children..was not close to kak ct wen young..after she got married n having 2 kids now, she's becoming better..better in attitude n in person..we talked n crapped ALOT!! den i ve gtg hm as dis particular family came..dunno arrr..despise him so much to e core to ma black bone...naseb tak WORLD WAR THREE!! sayonara...

mentelz in da van

05/11/05:eh i realised i look slim in dis pix..woohoo!! but too bad now im gaining back..sharkxx..hows ma hairdo? retro rite? hehehe..took more den an hr to set up u noe..lenguh tangan mak!! but its ok vogue nye pasal..qua qua.. ric hm abt 12midnite..penat tak terkata...but syiok arr...saw ma cuzzin brother, iwan..miss him n e rest sia...miss dos time wer im e onli gal and we wld play fite2 la, police n teeth la thief la..den we rode on e gearless bicycle la..rounders la, futball la..wat else ya..e most tragic was, we had dis bix box, den one of us at a time had to be packed in e box n covered up den we golek2 e box..dunno ape steam siol e game was..i gez e main intention was to make e person giddy..so whoeva cld overcome e giddiness kire champion arr..merepekz!! wakakaakaka...dos were e days..den at nite..asri kedi called..amazing talk we had..e other side of him horrr...

DADADADADA DAT GURLLL

hmmm..
splashin' out all troubles within..
grumpy grumble in between..
arch at e edge can only be seen..
rip e flesh ya'll see IT's rottin'..

haizz..
movin' on? BUT e soul still stagnant..
petite world she wishes she's pregnant..
suitors crowding she'S keeping a distant..
im stuck up here finishin' up this sentence..

whoa..
i closed ma eyes when typin this..
pourin' out e bullshits i've in me..
fulfiling their desires is not my wish..
do THEY know im sinkin' living in agony??

sheeesshh..
dear angel bring me up to heaven..
tolerance declining fatigue and weakling..
take me there leavin' behind e killing pavement..
hate it when im still sucky at this life painting..

ok enuff said..mak rase lega siket..ape ni baca2 orgnye blog? p sana tolong mak pat dapor!! sibuk ehh!!

ALICIA KEYS WITH MAMA KISS

fuyoo..i had a great n tiring hols..raya was exciting femme..dunno y..juz got e mood i gez..

here is e pix of mama n me at e last n 5th hse..abes tudong gua..yest was damn hot & humid..e reason y i did ma tudong like dis was bcoz, on e 4th hse..i tot we were heading hm..so i took off n did dat way..panas beb..berfeloh..n furthermore i look more like a taleban gal sia w dat black tudong...ric hm ard 12am..

TALEBAN GAL & ACT-CUTE MAMA

fresh look huh...of coz la..dis was taken while waiting for ayah to fetch us..

see how ma mom tryin hard to flaunt her lenses.. i gez dis time round mama look better with her NEW-asian-naturale-look lenses..PREVIOUSLY she wore violet..ayah said mama look like a ghost..n "mcm ade jin pat mata mama" siolz..*ayah jahatss* sheezz..ma teeth..toothin outz! nvm.

TALEBAN PART II

haha..perasan mak dlm van ni...hmmm..tudong..tot of not wearing it..but its kinda a routine femme to wear it on e 1st day of raya..KAU!! step wardina..1st day aje..tgk arr..e nxt day..im back to shakira..hehe..overall..raya dis yr was fun..gotta meet ma relatives, ma nannies..love em..n e feeling of togethaness w ma family are blissfully blissed..

me n asree kedi 31/10/05

breaking ma fast w asri at newton..tho i did not fast...hahaha..ate mutton chop...nicely done...
den we took cab to far east plaza...asri went to sign up for starhub maxonline thingy...
den i went to buy few make up kits..compact powder n mascara cost me $53!!!
ape leh buat..kate pompuan...oh ya..i saw fadli n wan..i smile n wave at fad...next,me n As went to jp...ahahaa...bought 2 eyeliners n lipgloss n shisheido shampoo & conditioner..
leceh jadi pompuan ni..poor asri..kena jadi bahan test2 by me...hmmmm...
but dat nite can sense something different..dunno wat..
it's him i gez...nvm abt dat..in e train i wanna catch some sleep..but dis asri kedi sibuk arr..
kaco2 jer..tkle tgk org senang..tol tak kas..hehe..
had a great time w aS...padan muka dia kena debuk ngan aku.ric home on time i gez...
wakakakka..akak brutal tau..